Opening Up

I have recently come to realize that for some reason lately I have not been able to open up as much as I use to. Just to clarify, I personally hate opening up but sometimes you just need to do it for the sake of all of the people around you. If your holding things in then it builds up tension in you that you then take out on everyone around you. I have experienced this and it makes me feel really bad because I hate treating people bad especially when they havent done anything to you. I majorly need to work on this.

.Change.

One thing that everyone goes through is change. I personally hate it. It come at the worst time like when you finally get use to something or you start like something it changes. Its really hard to adjust to for me. Sometimes I just wish life could stand still and stay the way it is forever. Like the people and everything would stay and never go and I could stay a senior in high school forever because it seems like its going to be the best year of school I will ever have. Sometimes change will sneak up on and your just completely confused and lost. It sucks.

Dream Relationship

I hate sitting around watching T.V. and admiring all of the relationships I see and just hoping I end up in one like the ones I see. I just want to get that feeling and just know its right. It probably wont happen for a long time but I'm just excited about the prospect of it happening. I'm not trying to be super sappy about this either.

Diaries..etc

I was reading back through some of my really old diaries and I was thinking how ridiculous I was for the things I wrote. It was crazy. I like reading back through stuff I've written cause it shows how much life has changed and the people in my life have changed. For example, I had wrote all this stuff about this one guy I had really liked and now we are best friends. I just like seeing how things have changed and evolved and i'm ready to get to the next part of my life which will hopefully be the best part.

                                                                                                   

Video on Youtube

So I have this problem where I watch youtube videos way to much. So I was watching one the other day and this girl was talking about how she has fears and phobias but she wont talk about them or tell anyone because it would scare it. Which was funny to me for many reasons. Moving on, so I sat and thought how weird my fears and phobias are and how if I made a video about it and put it on youtube for people to see they would think I was weird on so many levels. Its not everyday that you hear someone is afraid of deer like the animal and mannequins. When I say mannequins i'm referring to the ones you see in like Victoria's Secret that have the faces. They freak me out like know other.